my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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