Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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