I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
