At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we made out on top of his cat.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize