it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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