We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize