Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize