strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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