I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
