Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
