My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
