was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
