I CAN MOONWALK!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What drink are we having for lunch?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
