her vagine was all disorganized.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
