I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
