She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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