how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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