The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
