I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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