All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
