Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
