he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
