Whod you bang
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
