Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
