Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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