if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
