if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
