woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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