I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
