soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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