More tranny stories later!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize