Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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