still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
