we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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