My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
