why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She's the barista slut.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Randomize