dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
