I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize