Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
