They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
