think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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