I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
