cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
