he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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