Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
