You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it's like iHOP with fire
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
