people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
