I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
