Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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