Your face is a jimmy john
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My room smells like vodka and shame
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Panties = found
Randomize
