Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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