Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
