That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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