Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
