tell your sister to shave her snatch
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
