is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Houston, we have a blender
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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