turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
