I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
