just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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