You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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