This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
