You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
