so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
