ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
