i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
