What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
