ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
