Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
