my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
is wine microwaveable?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize