I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
