What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
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