My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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