She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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