Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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