oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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