I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize