What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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