did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
