We need to rekindle our bromance
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
