I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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