i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
